When I was writing the essay on time management I was really motivated to keep to what I was learning, but somewhere along the line the work caught up with me and it all started to pile up. Now I feel like I have not done enough or tried my best and I feel guilty because no-one is to blame but me. I also doubted my work, at times I was telling myself I just couldn't do it and I didn’t try. I also didn't feel confident enough to show my work for others to critique, and I didn't feel that it's anywhere near good enough for industry standard.
However as a human being it feels natural to want to keep on trying and living through, and now I just can’t wait to practice over the summer holidays. I want to create so much of my ideas and I feel that this would work better as I would have more of an interest in them. I noticed I got more excited about the 'Mortal Engines' Self Portrait project and spent a lot of time on it, and i was really uplifted by the end result. I think this was because I was curious to see how I’d be able to re-create myself as some1 else.
However by concentrating on it so much that the other two projects related to the mortal engines book; were pushed aside. I know that if I can balance out my time and efforts better then the projects will run smoother.
I'm really proud of my team’s recent group project, I think that I’ve learned so much from it but it seemed difficult at times. It was hard to keep everything together, and felt like sometimes it was progressing in different directions. However it was inspiring seeing a combination of peoples work come together and in the end work as one.
Some things I thought that could have gone better was the planning and actually working together as a group because sometimes people did not show up much in the labs, as they preferred to work elsewhere. I did enjoy helping each other out and learning little shortcuts and other people's ways of working.
Even though it was nice working from the Queens building and imageniring all the fun little things, I loved the beginning of the year where we went to Abbey park and Bradgate Park. Being outdoors feels so much nicer to draw, unlike interior spaces, I really struggle with the perspective on close objects. This can also be something to improve whilst I don’t have actual University work to do over the summer.
I remember Heather giving us a tutorial on using Zbrush, but I’ve not had a go at it yet, so that's also something I want to get on with, just to try it.
Having the group project has made me more confident on working with other people and I'm considering working in a group for the third year as I feel that sometimes I get stuck on work and i need a bit of guidance to proceeding. Also knowing that other people are relying on me to do my work is more motivating to me than just doing it for myself. However if i do end up working on my own I will still try my best.
I know this is all everywhere but it's a lot of what I’ve been thinking about recently, and again I only notice all of these things because I’m having to write them down. I've got into a bad habit of not writing in my blog unless I’m asked to. I know it's my space to put anything and I know I should be putting things up but it feels like I need permission, I have to stop thinking like this.
I remember Chris saying that "...You have to do what we're asking for and more..." I really like the idea of this, doing all the work and doing it in your own way with your own touch. I want to try and follow this most for next year, doing what's expected and that little bit more.